Here are all of my former roommates. Of the following 12 methods, some I have just read about, several of which I made up, but only a few of which I've tried on any of them.1. Spend all your money on Transformers. Play with them at night. If your roommate says anything, tell him/her with a straight face, "They're more than meets the eye."
2. Leave a declaration of war on your roommate's desk. Include a list of grievances.
3. Hide your underwear and socks in your roommate's closet. Accuse him/her of stealing it.
4. Array thirteen toothbrushes of different colors on your dresser. Refuse to discuss them.
5. Shelve all your books with the spines facing the wall. Complain loudly that you can never find the book that you want.
6. Give him/her an allowance.
7. Whenever your roommate comes in from the shower, lower your eyes and giggle to yourself.
8. Buy Sea Monkeys and grow them. Name one after your roommate. Announce the next day that it died. Name another one after your roommate. The next day say that it died. Keep this up until they all die.
9. Eat a bag of marshmallows before you go to bed. The next day, spray three bottles of whipped cream all over your floor. Say you got sick.
10. Every night, when going to bed, begin singing opera music at the top of your lungs as soon as the lights are turned off. When your roommate turns them back on, act just as confused about where its coming from.
11. Draw eyes and a smile on a Watermelon, treat it like your new best friend. After several days forge a suicide note, and push the melon out the window. Mourn for weeks.
12. Wear a ridiculous and conspicuous disguise (trench coat, sunglasses, wig, etc.) and sit in the back of all your roommates classes for one day.
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